Monday, July 26, 2010


"Promises mean everything when you're little and the world is so big."

I heard that in a song while I was driving home tonight. At first, I just though "Oh hey... That's pretty true." but as i kept driving, that line just kept replaying over and over in my head. Then i started thinking about how we all make so many promises, but how many of those do we actually keep? And do we realize how making or breaking them affects other people? I then started thinking about how I make promises to my little brother, Jarom, all the time. A lot of the time I don't keep them. The three biggest ones that i make to him constantly are 1: "You can come with me next time." 2: "You can call Dido another day" and 3: "I'll play with you when i'm done with this." And most of the time I don't keep them and he makes sure that I know he's upset and every time i feel really bad about it so i end up either giving him some kind of treat or taking him somewhere to play.

Then I started to think about all the promises people have made to me. Like most people, I only really remember the ones that were important in my eyes. The one person who has made tons of promises to me is Celeste. And she keeps every promise that she can to me. Like having a paint fight. Playing with the tube at southwood. Having an air soft war. Ect. And thinking about that made a realize even more how much promises mean to people. It's nice to know that when someone says they are going to do something, they actually do it.

As i got closer to home, I started thinking about how i feel when promises are made to me and then broken. I feel like my little brother. Sad, lonely, and let down. I get in a bad mood and just want to sit by myself and cry. I think if we all knew how important our promises are to people, we would try harder to keep them and try harder not to make ones that we can't keep. So then of course I started to think about the promises that have hurt me the most.

"We're going to hang out, cuz I love hanging out with you" What happened to that?

"I'll totally be your date tomorrow night. I'll be there at seven" You never showed.

"I'll call you tomorrow night and we will talk" Still haven't heard from you.

"This will be OUR summer!" If that's true, summer hasn't started yet.

"Just jump off the deck, I promise the trampoline isn't slippery" It WAS slippery. I fell off. It was hilarious but i swear i broke my tail bone.

All of those are in the past. But they still hurt. Except for my tailbone. Full recovery there, just damaged pride. There is one promise that is really on my mind lately though. When they found out my birthday was in a few months they promised that we would do something awesome. I haven't really done much since my 12th birthday. And this is the big 1-8. I know birthdays aren't a big deal, but the promise was. To me. I doubt it will happen but i can't help but wish on everything, that you'll pull through. I wish on 11:11. Rail road crossings. Eye lashes. Stars. And I pray. So now i sit here Monday morning at 1:58 a.m. wondering what is going to happen. My brain will not shut off now. My birthday is on saturday. July 31. I feel like if the promises doesn't pull through, nothing will seem as great as it could be. It's so dumb too because I know if it doesn't happen, part of it's my fault. But i'm tired of trying to take all the blame just so things will blow over. All i want for my birthday is for this one promise to pull through. (and maybe a bouncy house in my front yard...) I've been wondering for weeks what is going to happen. I'm guessing you have forgotten all about it. I wish my brain wasn't so intent on remembering everything you say to me. I'm so freaking tired at this point. I got home this afternoon from a camping trip with my Mom's side of the family. And I am so BEAT! So much sun and dirt and laughing and sunburns and more dirt. But ever since that song came on the radio my mind has been racing. I need an off switch. I feel like i could pass out right on my key board... usfuhdaufgouadef.
I know i think way to much. Over analyze EVERYTHING. Worry about EVERYTHING.
That's probably why the things that happen to me, happen.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Called To Serve

Oh where to begin... This past month has been crazy for me. And a HUGE eye opener.

About 4 weeks ago i was able to go on Trek with my stake and ward. I enjoyed it a lot more than i thought i would and the reason i did was because of the guys in my ward. Words can't even describe how much i love them. There's Adam: Probably my best guy friend right now. He always wants to hang out. Helps me out with anything, even the dishes. He's hilarious and easy to talk to. There's Matt: Tall. Lurpy. Hilarious. Sarcastic. Awkward...but awesome. There's Jameson:Blunt. Funniest person ever. I can talk to him about everything. Comes off like he's really, but he's sarcastic to the max and it's awesome. He's my friend McCall's older brother and last year at youth conference we realized we didn't hate each other and ever since then we have been friends. And he ends up carrying me at some point during every youth conference haha.Then there is Jared: Two years ago, we really liked each other. But i was a few weeks away from turning 16, and because of that he got in trouble with his parents because we went on a "date" to go get pizza. We stopped talking and he started dating another girl. But about ten weeks ago, he got his mission call and we started talking then. I realized i had never really stopped liking him over the past two years, i had just ignored it. Then over Trek we got to talk and hang out. That made it easier to talk once we got home. Him and Adam came up and helped with girls camp. Then for the fourth of July i asked him and Adam if they wanted to go see the fire works at Sugarhouse park. They said yes and Jared said he wanted to drive so we drove up there, rocked out to Cheri Call and The Hippos, hopped a fence and then watched some awesome fireworks. After, we got my sparklers and went over to Jared's house and lit them off and then doused them with gasoline. I remember thinking on Trek, "Okay well I have a month to hang out with him. That is a long time." But now i sit here trying not to bawl my eyes because tomorrow he leaves for the MTC. The past three days i have spent so much time with him. Sunday was his farewell. After his talk, we went over to his house at 11. We all ate, and talked and then watched the World Cup. We finally left his house around 3:30. Then on Monday, Adam, Jared, Kellyann, Lindsley and I went bowling. I love hanging out with Jared and Adam. They just make me smile. After bowling, Kellyann went home so the four of us went to Ihop around midnight. Again we just talked and laughed and ate and had an awesome time. Around 1:30 Lindsley had to leave so Jared, Adam and I went to twirly park and i showed them the awesomeness of this park. We spun until we couldn't see straight. We would spin and run and fall and then do it all over again. Then we sat in the giant tree and talked and played around. Finally around 3:30 am we decided to go home, because we were going to the temple in a few hours and thought we might want to get some sleep.

Tuesday July 13 was probably the more bittersweet day i have had in a really long time. Jared, Adam, Paul, and Andrew drove up to the Draper temple at 6 am to do endowments. Then at 9 am McCall and I met them up there so we could all do baptisms for the dead. Jared is going to Germany and leaves for the MTC on July 14th. Adam leaves for Samoa on November 3rd. Paul is going to Australia and he leaves July 21st. Andrew is going to Argentina...idk when he is leaving. But the boys were able to baptize and confirm McCall and I. Seeing the guys all dressed in white and in the temple really changed my view of them. I gained a lot of respect for them. I felt really stupid, but i couldn't keep my eyes off Jared. It just looked like he was shining the whole time. Being with these guys has changed my life. It really makes me realize what it really important in my life. I already basically knew what was important but seeing the four of them in the temple today really strengthened my testimony. After the temple we went to Applebee's and met up with 2 guys are are leaving on their missions. Brandon is going to Argentina and also goes into the MTC tomorrow. Dan is going to Florida but i dont remember when he is leaving. I felt really strange sitting the the middle of a giant group of guys all dressed up in suits and getting ready to leave to serve the Lord. I almost felt lower then them because they are all just so amazing. After eating, we all said goodbye and took some pictures. I haven't hugged Jared in a really long time so when he gave me a hug after eating i swear i felt my heart drop. It really hit me that tomorrow, he'd be gone. He gave me another hug and i just sunk lower. This came so fast. But luckily I was hanging out with Adam later today and he was going over to Jared's with Matt so they could talk and take some picture so i went with them. I brought him a giant bag of popsicles haha. We sat and talked and joked around and then took picture of the three of them. Jared gave me one of his CDs that i really liked so i guess i have atleast one thing. I decided i should leave so i said goodbye. I turned to Jared and said "Well, i guess i'll see you in two years?" he looked at me for a minute and said "Wow. Yeah... i guess so. I'd give you a hug but... yeah." So he shook my hand. I wanted to cry. I still can't believe he is leaving tomorrow. I know i'm going to miss him like crazy, and i'll miss all my friends like crazy, but i know it's what they are supposed to do. I wish it wasn't so hard. We'd always joke around saying "Three days till you're a missionary!" "ooo 4 more hours till you're officially a missionary." but now that it's here, the jokes aren't so funny. It's hitting so hard. Once my guys are gone, I don't know what i'm going to do with myself. I feel like i'll be all alone. A huge chunk of my life will be missing. But i'm so glad they are going at the same time. Like said, they all just shine. And i love them for that. They are my biggest examples and i don't think i would be the same without them. Nexy sunday is Paul's farewell. Geez! Everyone is leaving just one after the other!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Go Karts

Have you ever been go karting? If the answer is NO, then you should. If the answer is YES then you're awesome.

Today was Sara's birthday. So me and her took a trip down to Gateway and played around in every store and the fountain. We got a free snow cone (Thanks Jael) then went over to temple square. A very cute guy and two girls walked up to us and asked if we would take a quick survey for them. Sure why not. The boy was very cute but then we realized that the survey and the questions they were asking us were bashing on the LDS church. Not cool. Peace out not-so-hot-anymore guy. Sara's papa works in the church office building so we ventured over there and he showed us around and had us meet and talk to everyone. We found out there are way to many people in his office that want to Dutch to win the world cup. Boo. GO SPAIN! Sara danced because well...She's Sara, and it was her birthday.

Reed (her boyfriend) and I got together a cool surprise for her. He took her to dinner (like a good boyfriend should) and then he drove her to Fast Karts. 1st surprise: Go karts! 2nd surprise: Kylee is here! We raced for about a half an hour with another couple that was there. It kind felt weird for me cuz we tried to get more of Sara's friends to come go karting but no one could. So it was me Sara&Reed and then the other couple. It's like i was the fourth wheel. But oh well, I couldn't do much about that.

Go karts in real life are a lot harder to drive than Mario Kart. But once I got the hang of it i rocked. Going fast is a thrill and sliding around the corners and almost dying is a rush. The girl from the other couple was a TERRIBLE driver. She went SUPER slow and so of course i always got stuck behind her. She always spun out and would just sit there. One time i accidentally ran into the back of her kart and she flew into a got stuck in the wall. Hahaha. I felt bad, but it was really funny. We also got to wear awesome motorcycle type helmets so i felt like a BAMF. After our racing was over, we said goodbye. I left and Sara and Reed went off and did whatever boyfriends and girlfriends do when it's their birthday. I would go to twirly park...but that's just me. When i started to drive me car it felt really funny. The gas was really easy to push on and the steering wheel was super easy to turn. I found myself going 20 over the speed limit. Oops. Didn't get caught though.

I got really bored after that because well, it's summer and you're supposed to hang out with friends during the summer. So i called Kortney up but she didn't answer. I assume she is with Davis again. So i called Heather. She was with Zack up in Lehi. *sigh* boyfriends. So now I sit here writing about how awesome go karts are. Because really, it was awesome. But kinda expensive. 30 bucks for one person for a half hour. Ouch.

Welp, goodnight world. I think more people should call me so we can hang out. Lagoon is AWESOME this time of year. And I will go on any ride.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Girls Camp and Starting Over

This week I have been roughing it up at girls camp! I'll admit, for a while I really didn't want to go. But when the time came for me to pack I found myself really excited to get away. Life is like a roller coaster and the past week or so i have been at the bottom of the ride. But I woke up monday morning happy, hyper, and ready to sleep in the dirt. Adam and Jared drove up with us so they could bring the wood up and help set up. These boys are my favorite. Things have changed a lot with Jared lately. Two years ago we really liked each other but i was a month away from turning 16. Jared Adam and I skipped mutual one day to go get pizza and then Adam's girl friend came a little later. Jared's parents got really mad at him because he took a 15 year old on a "date". Everything blew up. The ward made him feel terrible. People started spreading rumors. We stopped talking and avoided each other. But recently we have started talking a lot and hanging out. We watched the fire works at sugar house park last night with Adam and then played with sparklers. The timing just kinda sucks because he leaves for his mission on the 14th. But it was still great :)

Anyway, back to girls camp...haha
The guys helped everyone set up the tents and tarps and then us three disappeared cuz i told them about the zip line we had at the camp site. The zip line was all chained up but Adam and Jared figured out a way to rig it up so it worked any way. This camp site was sooooo much better than our old one. Timberlane was a mess. Rocky ground, bears, so much flooding. The list goes on and on. But this site was awesome! Beautiful view. Awesome hiking trails. Sooooo green.

This year i got to know the girls really well. I love getting to know people so this made me love girls camp even more. The food was amazing, like always. But my favorite part of camp has always been the snipe hunting. There is just something "magical" about scaring people out of their mind. It's weird cuz i don't see why snipe hunting is so scary. I already knew about them my first year but McCall and Noel didn't. They chased us down the hill and into our cabin and then they scratched on the door. Scared poor McCall and Noel to death. The way our ward does snipe hunting is pretty epic. The older girls go off to do "star gazing" for certification. They hide in the trees with different colored flashlights. The "white eyed" ones are safe. The "red eyed" ones are violent. and the "green eyed" ones are poisonous. They also sit and they hiss at us. I run over to one of the lights and pretend to catch one. We use the cut off hand of a teddy bear so when they pet it, it's fuzzy and you can stick your finger inside and make it move so it really freaks the girls out. Two years ago, we had a girl climb on the top of a car she got so scared. This year we only had one first year. She is the YW president's daughter and Jared's little sister. I had to use a sock for the snipe cuz i lost my teddy bear hand but it still scared her way bad. She had her back to me and wouldn't even look at us. Her mom finally said we better tell her so she would be able to sleep. Her mom dragged her over to me and made her pet it. She was whimpering and then i opened up my hand and showed her the sock and told her how they aren't real. She gave me the dirtiest look i have ever seen and she turned around and walked to her tent. Her mom started laughing and we all walked back with her. I felt really bad because she sat in her tent and started to cry. We explained about how when we were all first years we got the crap scared out of us too, and that she would be able to scare the first years next year. She felt a little better but was still mad at us. Mostly me. Whoops...:)

But i think the greatest part about girls camp thing year was the hike. They had the first hike around 11:00 am but i didnt go because i was feeling really sick. The hike was only about 20 minutes long. around 2:00 pm we had to go on the hike again and mark the trail better for a service project. I love hiking so i man-ed up and grabbed my camelbak and i was off. We split into two groups so we could get the trail done faster and we would meet up in the middle since the trail was a loop. So we hiked for about 10-15 minutes and then met up with the other group. We started hiking on the trail that we thought would lead us back to camp. After about an hour of hiking on this trail we realized it was just going straight and down and nothing looked familiar. We stopped and couldn't decide what we should do. We had no idea where to do because we had forgotten our map. One of the leaders, Crissy, said that we should say a prayer and ask for help. We said our prayer and not five seconds after we said amen we hear voices behind us on the trail. There was another ward from our stake camping by us and two of the girls came walking down the trail. When they saw us, they ran up to us and told us how they ran ahead and got separated from their group and had no idea where they were. We realized that we needed to hike back the way we came. It was really hot, and we realized we hardly had any water since we thought it would be a 20 minute hike. Then me and McCall started having a really hard time breathing since it was up hill and we had forgotten our inhalers. We made another stop and decided we needed to pray that we would all be strong enough to make it back. Right after we ended our prayer a small wind started to blow and a bunch of clouds came over and it got cool and shady. maybe an hour and a half later we got back to our camp site and we all crashed. We were all so beat but so thankful that we had made it back okay. We grabbed the map and tried to figure out where we had been. We realized we had been on a totally different trail and if we had kept going on it we would have ended up on a different mountain in the middle of no where. I love hiking, but hiking to stay alive isn't my idea of fun. I don't think i have ever had my prayers answered so quickly. This was probably one of the best girls camps i have ever been to and i know i won't ever forget how strong the power of prayer is.